DeRomancifying

1. Social Exchange Theory- We want something and give something in exchange.
     I completely agree with this theory. If we did not want anything that a relationship entails, and if we had nothing to give to a relationship we would most likely find ourselves single. I have always found myself in need of a relationship, someone to share affection with. I am trying very hard to find myself happy with being single and to focus on things outside of a relationship, but I am too caring and loving to not have someone to give that too.

a) Rational Choice Theory- weighing pros and cons.
     I have only used this theory when i was considering ending a relationship. I would weigh out the pros and cons of being with that person, and determine if the cons are really worth my effort. Then I would make a decision to stay in a relationship or go my seperate way.
b) Subjective Cost Benefit Analysis- decide if person meets your needs.
     Recently I found myself in a relationship with a boy, and had to decide whether they met my needs. He was funny, athletic and caring, but had such a busy lifestyle that there was barely any time for me. I need to be around partners quite often to be content, and he was not meeting this need.

2. ABC(DE)/ George Levinger-
Phases in life-span of relationship.
Attraction, building, continuation, deterioration, and ending.
     The steps in this theory are found in almost every relationship, except arranged marriages. It all starts when we are attracted to an individual. Then we start to build a relationships with them; this continues until a period of deterioration where the couple may have doubts, or concerns about the relationship. They can either continue to work on it or end the relationship. I find most encounters to begin with an initial attraction, but this is not always the case. A few time I have found myself around a person for months before an attraction is present. It can be something they do, or say that makes me realize their attractiveness.

     A major issue I have is continuing a relationship after some deterioration occurs. I almost feel complete dispair and choose to end the relationship instead of fix it. This is something I need to work on if I am to have a relationship lasting longer than two years.